Aunt Eunice, where are you? I've looked everywhere, high and low, north and south. You went missing at the same time Rob's iPad disappeared...hmmm.
If anyone happens to see an old broad--I mean an elderly lady--hiding in an alley, carrying a thin black case with an apple on it, please contact me as soon as possible. Rob is beside himself with grief.
And as for you, Aunt Eunice, please call me when you read this message. Your life may depend on it.
Your niece, Sharron